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I'm not getting older
Just a little bit slower Don't mean that it's over and done yet I'm not getting older Don't want to surrender I still have young dreams I can't forget
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There's a place when I come from Im not there now been on the run. On the road up ahead lays terrible turnpike full of things I dread. The Shadowman.
It’s been a year since my father passed away, and that experience changed me deeply. I was forced to finally take my place at the head of the table. With my mother now gone over 23 years, I was truly an orphan. There were no aunts or uncles left to speak with or go to for advice and guidance. My history was gone and I was left on my own. There was no on one left to stand between me and the abyss.My children were grown and my parents were gone, and at one time I was a father to them all.So now it was up to me to dig in, stand strong and find an inner strength of my own. A faith of some sort. A God of my own understanding.So I started going for long walks in the woods. Read books with a deeper meaning, did service for those less fortunate then me, and tried to be an all round better less self centered person then I had been. A source of strength.Then one day while walking thru the mall with my wife I saw him. He’d been there all along but I’d never noticed him before.Quietly sitting there with his white cap watching and obsearving the wold that had passed him by. He reminded me of my father. Happy to be out and about yet alone and lonely. I thought of all those years my Dad must have spent missing my mother and his children. Now all his friends and family were just a mere memory. No job to go to anymore . No one to go home to. Feeling less important and uninvited.How was this fair. Where was the justice in all of this. His loneliness became my solitude.
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AuthorJ.Owen Smith Archives
May 2015
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